When I was in Las Vegas last year at the Go Pro event I listened to the women’s panel and they talked about guilt. How they often heard how terrible it was that they worked so much and didn’t think about their kids. They should stay at home with them more. How it wasn’t easy being away much but they were to make a better life for them and their kids. Women have a way to easily feel guilty when we are away from their kids even just for a few hours. I found it interesting because I have also felt guilty even though I wasn’t working as much as them.
Now I’m there, working on my business and it takes time. Hard work and being stubborn because I want to make it. I want to give my son a great life and show him that you can do anything you want. So yes it takes a lot of hours from home but I have a goal. I never thought I would experience what they did though. But now I am experiencing just that. Getting blamed and getting hard words. Not said to my face but behind my back. I should stay at home with my son instead of working so hard. How sorry it is for my son who doesn’t have his mom at home all weekend. And the worst thing is, it’s being said from someone who is close to me. Now I understand more what the women in Las Vegas were talking about. The quilt and the shame that you are trying to get somewhere. Because you should stay home with your kids. How dare you want to get a better life? To show your kids that you have to work to get somewhere?
To those of you who complain, I got news for you. I’m not doing this alone I’m doing this journey TOGETHER with my son. We talk about my plans and he is happy now that we can actually do things together because we can afford it. We can go out and eat. I can get him new shoes without thinking about if we have money for dinner. He is now 14 years old, and yes he enjoys spending time with me but not all the time. He sees his mom actually doing something to change her life instead of sitting home on the sofa complaining and telling him how hard life is. He learns that you must have goals in life and work hard to get there. I don’t sit home and drink every weekend feeling sorry for myself.
Would you say those things to a man who is working hard? Are women supposed to just be home? Of course, I’m thinking about my son’s feelings and listen to him and what he wants. There are moms who are at home but still isn’t there for the kids. But I can tell you that I am here. And if I’m away working, I’m always a phone call away. I’m a single mom and also get accused of leaving my son with my mom when I’m working. Well now he can be home alone, but I always talk to my mom and he can either stay there or stay at home and she can make sure he is okay.
So to all moms out there, I’m writing this blog post inspired by the women I listened to last year. How they were so happy that they kept working, and how proud their kids were of them when they saw what they achieved. Don’t listen so much to what other people say. What’s important is that you talk to your kids about your WHY. Why you are doing what you’re doing and that you would change your plans right away if they need you. It’s okay to have a goal and to show them that we can do anything we want if we put our mind to it. And if you are a single mom, it’s not easy to work hard unless you have support. And people who have never been a single parent will never understand the strength you must have to raise your kids alone. So don’t listen to haters. Just listen to those who push you forward in life.
“Mama was my greatest teacher, a teacher of compassion, love and fearlessness. If love is sweet as a flower, then my mother is that sweet flower of love.” – Stevie Wonder
“When it comes to spending time with my kids, I value quality as much as quantity.”